


Love save me now

by megyal



Category: Naruto
Genre: Community: kakairu_kink, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-09-16
Updated: 2009-09-16
Packaged: 2017-10-11 10:39:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,054
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/111527
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/megyal/pseuds/megyal
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Written for <a href="http://community.livejournal.com/kakairu_kink/364.html?thread=58732#t58732">this prompt</a> at <a href="http://community.livejournal.com/kakairu_kink/profile"></a><img/><strong>kakairu_kink</strong></p>
    </blockquote>





	Love save me now

**Author's Note:**

> Written for [this prompt](http://community.livejournal.com/kakairu_kink/364.html?thread=58732#t58732) at [](http://community.livejournal.com/kakairu_kink/profile)**kakairu_kink**

_I wonder how you sleep  
I wonder what you think of me_

Kakashi stood in the corner beside Iruka's bedroom window and watched him sleep. His thoughts were clear and cold-hot, like the sharp edge of a lightning-blade; how easily he could kill the sensei right now.

It wouldn't be hard; he had killed six enemy-nin just a few hours ago, threats to the security of Konoha and the Fire Nation, pulling the life out of them with terrifying ease.

One hadn't been older than sixteen or so. When Kakashi's kunai had landed in his heart, the mask of the young shinobi had slipped from his face. He had had long dark hair, and his dark brown eyes were wide open in shock before he fell to the ground, his blood pouring out onto the silent grass.

From behind his own mask, Kakashi had breathed slowly, even though the dead boy's face had been so much like Iruka's that his heart had felt like it wanted to leap out of his chest. Iruka had the same vulnerable, open expression sometimes.

Right now Kakashi despised Iruka a little bit, and hated himself for doing so. But how could he be so open and warm, safe and secure under his sheets? Didn't he know what was going on out there? Always a war, always fighting, and... and Iruka was one of those responsible for creating more warriors. Over and over again, and the cycle didn't end. It _didn't end_.

_He does his job and does it well,_ a voice rebuked in his head, sounding remarkably like his own old sensei, Minato. _Just like you._

Kakashi shut his open eye and the ever-present red flared up brighter than before.

The Sharingan was always a burning crimson glow behind the hitai-ate and underneath a closed eyelid, always pressing in on Kakashi's mind, replaying what it had seen during the day. Kakashi rarely slept on a mission, because the Sharingan insisted on showing him what he had done. It was a wonder he wasn't insane by now; if he had been a real Uchiha, he would have been able to deactivate it, to close off those images.

Or... maybe he _was_ insane. He probably wouldn't know what sane was if it came up and kicked him; and if he was insane, then Iruka must be even crazier, sticking around a person like him, with the blood of a boy on his hands.

 

_I want you to agree with me  
I want so much so bad_

Iruka was wide-awake; he hadn't been able to sleep at all. He had felt his chakra wards being deactivated and heard the sliding of his bedroom window; Iruka had remained as boneless as possible.

He could feel the upset chakra boiling in the air around him and the intruder. Iruka didn't have much chakra in comparison to stronger shinobi; nevertheless, he was sensitive to any emotional upheaval that would upset chakra in such a manner. The Third had once told him that he should develop this sensitivity, to train and increase it; he would have probably been able to track other ninja by their chakra. If he had done that, he would have received training from the Third himself; Iruka might have become a special Jounin and a hunter-nin.

After thinking about it long and hard, he had politely declined the Third's offer, stating that he would prefer to remain a chuunin-sensei. The expression in the Hokage's eyes had been slightly disappointed and overwhelmingly proud.

The Third had still managed to give Iruka some pointers, telling him how to curve his own chakra in order for it to act as a receiver of sorts. He had tried this tactic on Naruto more than a few times, managing to filter through that massive chakra and pick up when Naruto was feeling extra unhappy; sometimes, he didn't even need to be physically near Naruto to know.

But now disorderly emotions, the dismay and self-loathing, were beating on Iruka's chakra like a storm against a tiny house. Iruka moved slowly, knowing that the other person was teetering on some edge; any sudden movement could set them off.

Iruka rolled onto his side and raised himself onto one arm. The sheet slid down his bare chest. The ANBU was motionless in the corner, just a shadow in a mask and hooded cloak. He always stood in the dark like that, and Iruka could never make out the details of his mask. He could, however, detect the sharp scent of blood.

"Don't look at me," the ANBU snarled at him and Iruka bowed his head.

"I'm sorry, ANBU-sama," Iruka murmured and there was a laboured inhale.

"Don't call me that," the ANBU whispered harshly. "_Sama_. I don't deserve that honour."

Iruka was shaking his head. "No, you don't," he replied. "You deserve more."

There was a very long silence, and then: "You can't believe that."

"I know what I believe," Iruka replied, using the firm tone of voice that he would in class. "I believe in you, and what you have to do."

"Then you are a fool, Sensei. I can destroy you," the ANBU said in a darkly mocking tone. "I can tear you down. I shouldn't believe in a weak chuunin like _you_."

Iruka closed his eyes, stung. This ANBU knew just how to jab through his defences.

"I... I am not as strong as you, ANBU-sama," he said humbly, and sat up properly in bed, still keeping his face down so that his hair hung like a dark curtain on either side of his face. "I'm not as deadly or as efficient. But," he said with a slight shrug, clasping his hands in his lap. "I am here. For you."

The disturbed chakra that had been whipping around him suddenly receded.

"I'm tired," the ANBU suddenly muttered, like a fractious child. "There is blood all over me."

"I'll get you clean. And then we'll come to bed."

_Give all that's within you_  
Be my saviour  
And I'll be your downfall

Kakashi was listless as Iruka scrubbed at his skin, shampooed the grime out of his hair and then rinsed it all off before leading him to soak in the deep tub; as he sat and listened to the sounds of Iruka scrubbing as well, he felt as if the ruthless ANBU was melting into the hot water. He slanted his glance at the clothing that he hadn't allowed Iruka to touch, not because they were sacred, but he didn't want Iruka to sully his hands with them. He didn't want the darkness of that hidden life anywhere near Iruka.

The bathroom was dark; instead of turning on the electric light above, Iruka had lit a candle and left it on a small table in the hallway, leaving the door open so that the flickering warm light could enter; he could see the golden glint of it on the metal of his arm-bracers. Kakashi was slightly amused that Iruka was bathing again, he had probably had his own bath earlier... and then he thought about some more. How had he known that Kakashi didn't want to be alone right now, even during a bath? It was all a little absurd. Before, Kakashi had done quite fine by himself. He would have gone to his own house and let the Sharingan show him what he was capable of.

This weakness, this need, was troubling, but all Kakashi could do was stare up at Iruka as the other man got into the tub with him; he shifted down a little and pulled up his legs some more, so that Iruka could sit behind him. He leaned back against Iruka's chest and let out a mingled sigh of relief and contentment.

Iruka kissed his neck and then his jaw.

"I'm... sorry," Kakashi murmured, tilting his head so that Iruka could get to his earlobe. "You're not weak. You're stronger than me in some ways."

Iruka only hummed in response, a low "_hmm_," and licked the curve of his ear.

"I want you," Kakashi said, but he felt tentative; Iruka couldn't possibly want him in return, not after what the ANBU had said. "Do you--"

"Yes," Iruka's voice cut in steadily; his fingers traced in slow circles around Kakashi's nipples. "I want you in me. That's what you want, isn't it?"

Unable to speak around the sudden lump in his throat, Kakashi nodded; he was getting hard at Iruka's low, sultry voice.

"You've already destroyed me, you know," Iruka whispered, as if he was telling his deepest secret. "I think about you all the time. You've changed me, and I have nothing to give you in thanks."

Kakashi couldn't get them out of the tub fast enough. He rubbed at both their nude bodies with the towel, blotting the water away perfunctorily, and then stumbled with Iruka to the bedroom, kissing wildly along the way. Iruka ended up straddled atop him in bed, holding his face in both hand and slowing the anxious pace that Kakashi had set. Kakashi forced himself to relax; this wasn't a battle.

One of Iruka's hands moved away from his face, fumbling to one side. Kakashi caught it by the wrist and tried to put it back on his cheek, but Iruka only chuckled against his mouth and tugged it away again, searching underneath the pillows and between the mattress and the bedcovers. He was probably looking for the small container of the clear, viscous substance that was made by med-nins out of fruit and vegetable oils; very thick and natural and worked wonders for dry, cracked skin. Also, it was quite handy for sex.

Kakashi began to help look for it too, his fingers rattling around the lower shelf of the low night-stand nearby and grabbed onto the container triumphantly. He pressed it into Iruka's hands; Iruka drew back a little, scooped out a good amount and looked down into Kakashi's face as he reached back, preparing his own hole for Kakashi's cock.

Kakashi stared up at him, completely aroused. He opened his closed eye and letting the Sharingan see those parted lips, slightly swollen from their kisses and the half-lidded expression on his face. Now and again, Iruka's eyes would flutter shut and he moaned once, a tiny, almost breathless sound. Kakashi leaned up to try and catch that moan with his lips and groaned himself when he felt Iruka's slippery fingers wrap around his cock.

Iruka knelt up a little more, positioned Kakashi and sank down, his eyes fixed on Kakashi's. He braced his hands on Kakashi's chest, biting his lip as he writhed down; he went slowly, going up and back down a little more each time, until he was completely filled.

"There," he breathed and smiled a little. "What is it?"

Kakashi, who had been staring up at him as if he couldn't believe that Iruka was real, shook his head and let Iruka take over. After leading his team through blood and death, it was like a weight being removed just to feel Iruka move on top and around him, his cock sliding in and out in a languorous manner.

"Sit up for me," Iruka told him after a few moments and Kakashi was glad to do so. Iruka settled even more comfortably in his lap, tucking his face into Kakashi's neck to kiss and nip at the skin there, his dark hair sliding down over Kakashi's pale shoulder. As he rocked faster, their skin prickling with sweat, Kakashi heard the insidiously weary voice of the ANBU in his head: _you're going to break him, like you've broken everything good you've ever had. You'll kill him like that boy who looked like him. You'll kill him from the inside out._

"Kakashi," Iruka moaned, tight and hot and slick and here, still _here_. "Kakashi. _Kakashi_."

The voice of the ANBU faded to a low mutter; Kakashi splintered and shuddered and cried out, gripping at Iruka's shoulder and back, feeling the massive scar against his forearm as Iruka's come flashed warm against his stomach.

Iruka hung onto him and allowed Kakashi to cling back, kissing him slow and deep.

"I don't deserve this," Kakashi murmured. "Not even... not even the smallest part of you."

"No," Iruka said. "You deserve it all."

_fin_


End file.
